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Archive for March, 2008

I cannot cross into your space
In five short minutes of talk
In the street when we meet.
I cannot evaluate myself to you
In such a short public time.

Yet you charm me out of myself
Then leave me dangling there
For all to see, a Cheshire cat grin
With a heart tacked on its sleeve
Slowly fading into nothing.

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You see only a weeping
Frightened girl underneath
All my smiles, as if laughter
Merely masks a truer self.
I weep to think about it,
I think about it and weep.
Perhaps you see clearly.

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I can’t decide whether to
Make up my mind or not…
I rang you up yesterday
To say that I wasn’t there
But when I spoke to you
I came back.
I rang you up yesterday
To tell you not to come over
But when I spoke to you
I asked you to come today.
I rang you up yesterday
To say I had nothing more to give you
Today I give you my self.
I am like a leaf
On an Autumn tree, the winds
Of August have captured me
And blown me to your door.

*

Accept my occasional presence as
No more important than a leaf
Blown through your door
That will drift outside again.
My offers of friendship
Are like dust in my mouth,
As wine turned sour – my love
Has been stolen by the carrion crows
Of black bitterness.

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Control is slipping through my fingers
Like water dripping away
And most of the time I act like me
But I’m not really there.
I’m having conversations with you
I’m dreaming of a day
When all the wonderful things I think
To say won’t slip away.
Inside my head you’re always there
Re-running memories
So if I don’t answer in real life
It’s just that this sweet fantasy life
Has become more real to me.

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You choose not to love me
Therein lies my grief.
Wouldn’t you think by now I’d learn
If I try to get too close I burn.
Yet stubbornly I cling
Like a limpet to the hostile
Landscape of your sphinx face.

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You choose not to love me
Therein lies my grief.
Wouldn’t you think by now I’d learn
If I try to get too close I burn.
Yet stubbornly I cling
Like a limpet to the hostile
Landscape of your sphinx face.

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That’s enough !
You’ve had eight days,
That’s six days more than you deserve.

It’s time to stop
All that stupid hoping.
I keep rediscovering how similar you all are.

No more.
I’m brainwiping your name.
What a disappointment you turned out to be.

Tomorrow
If you call me
I’ll tell you to stop showing off.

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Coming into your presence is
like experiencing earthquake.
A violent force picks me up
And shakes me back and forth
Until I’m breathless and dizzy,
Sick with fear, prickly with desire
And through my blood – pounding –
The thrilling speed of excitement.

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O I will deceive you
And I will free you from fear
And bind you with love
And numb you with a joy
So ecstatic, you will give up
Your life and feel complete.

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It’s Spring you know
. Birds and bees .
blossom blooming among the budding trees
. icebergs, melting in the sea .
and everybody’s making love
. excepting you and me .
pessimistically predicting tempests

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In the echo chamber of my skull
Thoughts tumble over one another
And never fade away

*

Our first impressions often prejudice us
Against looking for second ones.

*

Wrapped in layers of tissue and boxed
lies a treasure. Who has the time
to care that it is even there.

*

I nurture my lost love
Like a grief stricken mother
Trying desperately to suckle
a stillborn child.

*

There – a little shimmer of laughter
There – a little shiver of desire
There – a tiny sliver of shyness
O you are beautiful to watch.

*

Damn it ! What have I got to give you ?
Little enough – nothing you want.
It’s like crying for the moon
loving you.

*

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Do me a favour –
If I ask you to the movies, tell me you prefer videos.
If I ask you to dinner, plead a prior engagement.
If I set a future date, find an unforseen emergency.
If you see me from your car, ignore me.
If I tell you my phone number, instantly forget it.
If I write down my address, lose the piece of paper.
If I fall down on my knees, pretend you don’t see.

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